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malayalee monday: “panera” name


“What’s your Panera name?”

According to Koche, the resident expert on cool, young, hip and college, everyone has a “Panera” name.  For all of you who wonder what Panera is, it’s a bakery cafe that is prevalent in the Northeast United States, where after you order the food, you have to give the server your name so they can announce that your food is ready. 

Koche is “Jenny,” Mal is “Melanie, and “Anum” is Annie.

Koche goes on to tell me that the alternative to a Panera name is the IHOP system where San (who only goes by San in public) and the crew go to restaurants like IHOP and when the server asks the name of the person putting the order, they give the name of the person whose name is easiest to pronounce– usually “Joel.”

“So, Koche, what’s my Panera name?”  The expert answer below…

Bindu (a Malayalee upgrade), Annie (cause everyone sounds good as Annie), CeCe (a version of the 2nd half of my name), BeBe (but that reminds me of BB gun and then of Dick Cheney shooting his friend, so let’s not go with that), and on and on the list goes. 

At least she didn’t go with Bianca (what many older white people ask me if my name is), or my personal favorite, Beyonce.

Beyonce, out.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. Mallory permalink
    2009-07-07 12:12 AM

    What?! Melanie? Arg. That is so white. Too white.

    Haha. This blog reminds me of the funny thing I pull at the office every time we order from restaurants. One of my crew always has to call and every single time, I try to give them a different name. Once I was Mary. Then I was Kate. Next, I want to try Guadalupe. My co-workers, what’s left of them, think I’m nuts. I live to please.

    Melanie, out.

    • 2009-07-08 8:43 PM

      You are nuts, there is no doubt on that.

      I forgot to say, this Mal was Koche’s friend Mal, whose actual name sounds like Mal (but she feels compelled to clean it up more).

  2. Koche permalink
    2009-07-07 4:40 PM

    actually, i go by “jen” not jenny.

  3. My Meany permalink
    2009-07-08 12:23 AM

    LOL! So did not realize that it was called my panera name till now…(does that mean im getting old) makes perfect sense! I never give my real name! Guess mine.

    • 2009-07-08 8:44 PM

      Meany– what is your panera name???? I have no clue? Is it your hubby’s name? Is it Minnie Mouse? Is it Eli Manning? It’s going to drive me crazy.

      Will I see you this weekend?

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